Saturdaynight Insomnia Theater

[dodd4]

Stubby grinned, "na tha beard tha sighn! though true twill take more than a beard an coat ta hide that SHE'S a queen!" he said. then the battered old tom glanced around nervously at the mention of The Writers,
"shhhhhh! ya donn a want ta be given 'em any ideas!

++
the scarlet queens clear green gold eyes sparked as they narrowed while they listened to Atert through the vent. "humidifier system?! you mean that they were trying to get me so high that I'd....with any Tom that....
ooooooohhhh!" she sputtered. then she stopped and blinked, "actually you know that's a perfect way to keep me out of the way! if he came up with that for me I'd really rather not see what he had planned for you!" she said to Whitemane shivering delightfuly for the camera.

[Graymane]

"Too late" Munkus said softly to Stubby, "I think the Writers heard us" He tried to act normal as some other party goers passed by where he stood. He did not recognise any of them. With a nod the coast was clear. "Come on; lets go try and find the girls and Commissionor Lunchalot." Munkus then looked confused "Did I just call Commissionor Gut Commissionor Lunchalot ?"

"Yes you did" CP replied calmly. though she honestly did not want to know who was coming up with the names for these characters. Commissionor Gutt, Mayor Butler, Presidente Chromechaser, what next ? Bank Presidente Corie ? She had no idea how right she was when her friend spoke up.

"Say, isn't that the bank president ?" He pointed to a Jellicle in a dark trenchcoat and low slung hat trying to remain unnoticed.

++

Whitemane smiled, "If they wanted to cloud your mind, that is the least of their worries, I doubt highly if there is anything that can get to me. Besides, I just showed up remember ? Cori still owes me back rent. I plan to collect." She said thoughtfully, "Besides, this Jerk guy, he seemed rather ill at the sight of me remember ? I do not think he knews much, if anything about me, if that."

[dodd4]

the battered old tom peered at where she pointed, "oh aye, that he is, an he seems more than a we bit embarased to be found here he does!" Stubby replied with a chuckle.
then he followed Kid Munkus down the stairs.

++
the scarlet queen gave a fluid shrug,"well I was thinking more along the lines of the booth that flooded
for real, and the pressure plate rigged machine guns ya know?" Bomba said.
then she frowned prettily while looking thoughtful, "least of their worries...are you saying that my mind is already cloudy? well I'll have you know that it's clear as a vacuum tube!  " she declared then burst into a fit of silent jiggling giggles at what she had just said. quickly recovering Bomba shook out her mane, "so do we pounce? I mean Big Mama there is the only real threat between them."

[Graymane]

Munkus made his way to the door leading to the next car back. "Well, Thats that." He said with a nod, "Lets find the Commissionor before he gets commissioned, or worse thrown off the train because I got his ticket." Though he snickered at that thought, not many people could throw BJ anywhere short of two feet from where they started off at. He headed off through the now mostly vacant second dining car.

++
Whitemane snickered, "Pressureplates are standard in all badguy hideouts to keep out unwanted guests sneaking around." She said, "As for the waterlogged phonebooth, that was the writers idea. I faded out of that trouble though." She tried not to snicker at the Big Mama remark. however Atert heard it clearly.

"You hear something ?" the massive black female asked the three stooges with her.

"Other then you yelling at us for botching the last job, no, ain't heard nothin'." Slick made the mistake of saying. Shorty and Slim both facepawed as Atert glared daggers at Slick. Who thankfully shut up on the spot

"Not you ya stray! I thought I heard something, a queens voice, are you sure that the red one is awake ?" Atert asked, the three toms nodded so much their lower jaws flapped in the breeze. Atert looked up off stage. "Do I do it now ?" She asked, getting a nod she looked up at the vent.

As if on cue Whitemane turned a page in her script she was just given. Seeing what it said she whispered "The writers did it" And gave a tiny almost unseeable nudge to Bomba that sent the red queen through the vent as Whitemane herself disappeared out of sight and sound looking for BJ. It was either that or it was to get out of reach of Atert.

[dodd4]

the old tom chuckled "tis true, tis true!" he said as they made their way through the car.
Stubby kept his eyes open watching for Henches as well as the white of Bustophers suit.
meanwhile the grandly proportioned tom was moving in there direction to put some distance between him and the Henches that he had seen.

++
the scarlet queen gave an adorable squwak as she plummeted through the vent and landed on her well rounded
derriere with a loud THUMP.  Bomba lay in a shapely heap  surounded by the gaping toms but before they could react she rolled up kicking Shorty soundly while getting out of Slick and Slim's reach.
when Atert growled the two toms sprang at the scarlet queen only to have her dance out of reach letting them slam into each other. unfortunately for her when she looked for Atert the massive queen was already closing her paws around the scarlet queen. before Bomba sould react she was bouncing off of the compartment's wall only to be caught and slammed into the other. Atert motioned to the toms and Slim and Slick picked up the unresisting dazed queen suporting her by the arms. then the massive queen leaned in and said softly to Bomba,
"and Red stay away from Manny, he's MINE! got it?" then she glanced at Slim and Slick ,"get her secured some where and DON'T mess up this time! who knows maybey the Boss will give her to you if youre good," she said with a grin. "hey I thought this was a Kids Show!" Bomba protested woozily. "oh don't worry I doubt these bozo's would be able to do anything to blow the shows rating!" Atert laughed.

[Graymane]

"As if they hadn't already" Quaxo mumbled from off stage. the backstage crew worked quickly and Atert was allowd to rejoin Manny up in the sound booth. At least she was going up there with him until Quaxo pointed her to the dressing room that was recently soundproofed.

"Someone wake up Shorty while we get his understudy, Stocky ready will you ? Frostfur said from his post at the main sound board. Quaxo nodded and Chromechaser left the scene. With Atert off the stage, for the time being, Slick and Slim slowly regained their mental skills due to nearly cold clocking each other when Bomba dodged them both at once.

++
Of course through that scene Munkus had no idea what was going on three cars back until he was tackled cleanly off his feet to the floor in a heap of black, white, silver and black. Well you get the idea. Whitemane, looking pale as a bleached sheet had arrived. "Hey! You're not the Commissionor!" She said seeing who she knocked over, hoping it was BJ due to the massive toms bulk, when he got up to speed, he was hard to stop on a dime, well worth having as a battering ram for sure.

"Uh..... y eah, mind letting me up ?" Munkus said in reply, Whitemane got to her feet, and helped the silver tabby to his own, "Nice trenchcoat and hat there by the way. What brings you to our merry little potluck ?" Oh skat! I just gave the writers an idea! He passed a look to Stubby that said simply "do not say a word!"

"Let me just say that there is a three ton truck three cars back." Whitemane said

"I heard that!" came a voice from offstage, that of Atert.

At least nobody asked the seven swordswoman where Bomba was.... yet.

[dodd4]

the scarred old tom grinned at Munkus and made a zipping motion across his muzzle with a wink.
then he grabbed them and tried to pull them to one side as the grandly proportioned Bustopher plowed through the crowed and entered the car at full speed. "ah there you are, sadly to say the train is full of Henches' that way," he said then he bowed to White mane, "ah very good to see you again!"
then he looked about and frowned, "hmmmm we seem to be one short?"

++
"hey, hey watch where your putting your paws" Bomba said tartly to the stage hands that were secureing her for her next scene.

[Graymane]

"No we're quite famished actually, but I get your point" Munkus replied, he despreately wanted to say ' no acrtually, too wide' but he kept his mouth shut out of fear of getting flattend by his bosses. "Nice zipper by the way there Pancho Villas" He said to Stubby. Then he asked, "Three ton truck you say...." He thought about it, looking to BJ he shook his head, No, BJ was more like a Duce and a Half on steroids, Atert however was more like a 3tonner for sure. "Let me take a wild guess, was it a she, and was she very big and black and really focused on getting some from Manny this time around ?" Whitemane just looked at him, but nodded.

Munkus then took out a radio microphone and spoke into it "Stand by for station identification; This is CATS, When you hear the strangled yowl it will be 4:30, Bolonia Watch Time."

As if on cue the soundproofed dressing room that housed Manny and Atert lost its air vent above the door with a loud strangled sounding yowl. Munkus looked at his watch and then said "4:30, Bolonia Watch Time"

"

INSOMINA NEWS FLASH

"

The scene shifted briefly to the news room, the Muppet News Man was steated at a desk. "Today is the start of the Great Train Robbery Weekend Costume Party. It is during this time that several henches working under an unknown black cat or two have been trying to sell Evaproated Catnip to various cats. So far nobody has ... Oh why thank you" A stage hand in black fur set up a hookah for the news man on the desk, loaded with evaproated catnip. The news man took one shot and fainted dead away.

The voice over came on again

"Don't touch that dial INSOMNIA fans, We will return in a moment with more INSOMNIA NIGHT THEATRE at a few words from our sponsors."

With that the curtain dropped allowing everyone to take a quick ten minute break, and maybe waking up Manny after the poor guy fainted at sight of Atert in his dressing room.

[dodd4]

as some of the stage cats rushed to put out the snack tables others moved things around and put out props for the next set of scenes, one eyes respectfully averted, tapped the vent back in place.
Stubby made a bee-line for the food, while BJ strolled along as well.
Bustopher shook his head sadly at the offerings, "ah well one must make do!" he said as he took a plate.
"would you like one Miss?" he called to Whitemane.

[Graymane]

"Wish I could join you but I gotta go do another monoluge." Munkus said, after all, he was the star of the show. However he did not ever really feel as if he were the star and everyone else the guests on the show. He always felt that the guests on the show were the stars and he was the guest. It made him feel quite comfortable thinking in that way. "I'll be back in a bit, Commissionor, save me some." He said before heading on stage in front of the curtain for another skit or two.

Whitemane smiled and shook her head "No thank you, but thank you for offering." She replied. Somehow the massive tom caught her glance as one to count on to get through really nasty stuff. She smiled however when Bomba came off stage with some of the crew carrying her in a prop coffin-bed. "Having a nice nap ?" Whitemane asked.

[dodd4]

the scarlet queen gave a fluid shrug, "it would be nicer if they hadn't really locked me into this blasted Cat Carrier! I mean Guys you couldn't have waited until after the break?" Bomba said with a sigh.'all right Boys take me over to the speakers, I like this song!"
Bustopher shook his head and chuckled.

Stubinz bravely went to assist in waking Manny. "all right Ladiebuck tis time ta get up now!," he said pkeing the massive tom with his walking stick. Manny rolled over and groaned.

[Graymane]

Whitemane smiled and stepped back, allowing the ten toms...... ten of them ?..... to carry the coffin-bed over to the speakers as Munkus went onto the stage.

Munkus stepped in front of the curtains to the stage and the crowd in the studio cheered "Hello and thank you very much ladies and gentlemen and those who recently got a visit from the vet." He said, the crowds laughed. "I hope you are all enjoying the show as much as I am, and gee if you are then you must have good taste, I mean come on, when was the last time you got to hear that a big guy got the crap loved out of him huh ? No seriously, Manny is a real good friend of mine, and also of Atert, who as luck has it is my sister in laws sister. Or something like that I dunno."

Munkus snickered. "Anyhow, tonights show is running a bit long, but its also running a bit late.... Or was that in rehearsal ?" Munkus smiled and the studio audience laughed and clapped "Anyways ladies and gentlemen As we go into the next portion of our show for this evening, here is a word from our sponsors. And if you'll excuse me..."

A loud crash was heard from behind the curtain followed by a strangled drunken gibbering, ".... it sounds like Redmane hit the 'Nip again, Guess I have to wring her out of the bottle again. Anyway, please sit tight folks, and remember no flash photography is permitted unless its properly timed with the lightnight strike about to blow this building to Mars.... I gotta go backstage" With that Munkus smiled, waved and left the stage as the people in the stuido clapped.

BACKSTAGE
Atert giggled as Manny rolled over and partly off her, she opened an eye and saw through the mop of her mates hair who was standing there, "Oh, hello Uncle." She said in greeting, a habit she had formed as a child to treat all seniors as uncles even if they weren't related. "Is it time for us to go on yet ? If not, can you shut the door on your way out ? Its a bit drafty in here" As she spoke she pulled Manny back onto her so he'd keep her warm. After all it was either him or the REALLY THIN AND USELESS blanket they were ontop of on the floor.

[dodd4]

Stbby shook his head and chuckled,"yes it's about time that ya get on stage! after all ya have ta be on hand ta try an stop tha Lads from gettin
Bomba outa tha GoGo Cage Of Doom or somesuch as you two are the only competent Hench types they hired for the Jerk!" the old tom said.
then he quickly hobbled out to rejoin the rest of the cast who were trying to make sense of the script.

Bustopher looked over at Munkus when he  joined them, "so let me see if I am following this coecertly, if we find Bombalurina,we'll
find the Jerk because she is The Damsel In Distress and as The Villian he will be on hand to Monologue? well I supose  that makes as much sense as anything else," he said shaking his head.

Cori glanced over at Misto, :are you sure this is going to work?" he asked the tuxedo tom, "Trust me," he replied with a grin.
"places everyone!"

[Graymane]

Atert thought for all of two heartbeats before finally figuring it out "Oh yeah I remember now" She said at Mannys confused look, "I had the Stooges stuff her in a coffinbed I flitched from a Man-O-War sailing ship yesterday." She explained. Then she turned to Manny, who laid on her his face close to hers, she kissed his forehead "Manny dear. Time to get up!" She said sweetly.

{The screen then Faded to black}

Of course when everything faded to black, everything literally went to black. Munkus however turned on his flashlight, "OK, people! Someone hit the lights back up..... WHOA!!! Commissionor Gutt! Watch where you aim that thing!"

"Sorry" came Redmane's voice from the darkness. Someone lit a match up. "Who turned out the lights ?" Apparently Redmane had come up from her catnip binge.

WITH THE STAGE IN DARKNESS AND THE LIGHTS OUT;
THE QUESTION ARISES,
WHO CAN FIND THEIR WAY OUT OF THIS MESS ?
DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL INSOMNIA FANS!!
INSOMNIA NIGHT THEATRE WILL RETURN IN A MOMENT!!

The TV screen went to a commercial before finally coming back up

LADIES AND GENTLEMENT,
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION

And then some words faded into view as the screen came up showing Commissionor Gutt, Kid Munkus, and Pancho Villas {Stubby} in their cabin onboard the train. they were in poses of a scene currently paused.

The words said

ACT III
THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY, IN REVERSE

[dodd4]

after several looong moments in which Stubby'sear desperately needed to rwitch,they caught the signgal from
off stage and Bustopher coughed. "HARRUMPH, it seems to nme that the only cars we havent tried are the engine and the caboose!
and since the engine is highly unlikely I would suggest we had to the end of the train post haste!" the tuxedo tom pontificated.
"get Mr FanceyPants," Stubby muttered, "but he 'as a point' he continued louder.

the scene then cut to Bomba pounding on the sides of her box and managing to look adorabley miffed. then a familiar tom with a so so dye job, strolled into view,"commfy? well don't worry it won't be for lonhg! now I am suposing that by now even you has got to be wondering
what AM I up to?" he said with ab annoying laugh, "well just like you my dear it's simple when the do gooders come to get you the car will lock tight, unhitch, seperate from the train and follow a side rack into the Bay!
at the same time while YOU are taking your bath, ANOTHER line of cars will be taking their place on the train!
and they will be containg millions and millions of of bills printed on adaptive paper that when it arives as a "special delivery from the mint"
and is introduced into circulation will be indistinguishable from from the regular currancey EXEPTET that it will first match and then consume
the legitimate currancey leaving me in utter control of ALL the money!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the Jerk declared gestureing grandly.
the lovely scarlet queen frowned prettily,"uhhh you won't get away with it?" Bomba didn't quite follow hat Stell was going on about but it seemed to be the thing to say.
Manny stuck his head through the door "all set Boss!" he called then he waved at Bomba,"hi Red!" he added. Bomba waved back then resumed pounding futily on the clear sides of her prison, throwing in a few squirming gyrations for the cammeras sake for good measure.
the Jerk glanced at Atert, "you know it's too bad we have to use her as bait, she makes such a nice decoration! ah well we must we must"

[Graymane]

Atert snickered, "She does make a pretty good interactive statuette" She said, leaning close she said softly to Bomba "No offense Red, the writers wrote that, don't blame me." Atert turned her attention to The Jerk, "So Beefy, What next, Manny's ready... And I'm willing."

"I do not think he meant that way, Boss" Said Shorty from down below in the lower part of the compartmentalised traincar.

"Stuff it shorty." Atert said. She started pacing then, with a glace towards her own boss she spoke anew "That other chica is our new problem. She can..... fade out of trouble. Almost like teleporting from place to place. She must first know where she is going before she does it though."

"Yep" Said Slim, "Shorty and Slick here saw her making a once over of the train, making note of where everything was it looked like. I think she was getting her lay of the land so to speak."

"Finding viewpoints. Wonderful. That chica is planning something." Atert muttered, she turned to the threesome of Shorty, Slick and Slim, "You think you guys can find the time to keep those three busy ?"

Shorty took out a pocket watch that was six times his own size "Yes I think"

"Well stop thinking and do it. That big one, keep him busy with the dining car, and the other two will be little trouble. Act like salesman, Kid Munkus can't resist buying stuff he doesn't need with money he doesn't have" Atert said, the three stooges nodded and took off on their mission.

Atert in turn headed off screen to where Manny last was at....

[dodd4]

as they began to make their way to the rear of the train, Bustopher paused scenting the air.
his eyes closed rapturously, as he thought "oh MY...sesame CHICKEN!" and he started off in the direction of the dining car.

while he did a shifty looking tom in a trenchcoat stepped up to Munkus and Stubby, "hello Gents
I have here the most AMAZING watch that you have ever seen! it has features that you have to SEE to BELIEVE!" he said as he produced a very shiny chrome watch with waaaaaaay to many buttons.

meanwhile Bomba was getting annoyed, Stell's cracks about her IQ really got on her nerves, I mean okay she  would be the first to admit that she wasn't the brightest one in the litter but she'd
show him SIMPLE! she tucked her arms in close and spun in place, and with a flash and a whump she was replaced with Teazer, as off stage Bomba landed in Misto's lap.
Teazer looked about the box and tsk tsked then she set to work and in less than a minuet had unscrewed the bolts and removed the clear plastic side! then she spun in place and with a flash and a wump Bomba was back and striking a pose to show off both her Whatta Kitty outfit and her figure, while it was Teazers turn to land again in Mistos lap.
now to get out of the car without triggering the automatic locks....

[Graymane]

"Did he just say Sesame Chicken ?..... Ah crap, I'm outta here! I'll be back in a bit." Whitemane asked for a moment confused before spotting a certain someone at the other end of the car and faded out of the scene completely for a few posts of the writer. Whitemane had spotted a Pollicle on board.

As soon as both Lunchalot and Whitemane were gone, Kid Munkus and Pancho Villas were were set upon by a guy in a dark coat selling a really pricy watch set. Just the site of the shiny thing had Kid Munkus hooked on it like a moth to porchlight. Within five minutes Munkus was reaching for Pancho Villas wallet to buy the watch. Another tomcat in a trenchcoat ambled over, this time to take the attention of Pancho Villas. The trenchcoatetd henches primary job was to keep Munkus and Stubinz busy. And for the moment they were doing correctly.

Whitemane however had spied Atert sneaking off on the other end of the dining car. Reappearing in place at the spot Atert was she looked around her. Listening and sniffing the air carefully. Atert had went in the other direction ? Or was not there at all. Upstairs. Whitemane thought. going to the stairs that lead up she withdrew a combat knife from her left leg sheath and poked it around the corner, using it like a mirror. Atert was nowhere to be seen. Coast was clear.

Atert was in fact still with Jerk, her and Manny's boss. Or rather her Boss, she was Manny's boss, she liked him a lot. She had a iPineapple tablet computer in paw, watching on a screen. "OK, Kid Munkus and Pancho Villas are busy, Eatsalot is also helping himself to the buffet. That leaves...."

She heard poofing noises and looked up after Bomba had returned to being in the coffinbed. To Jerk she asked "Did you hear something ? I coulda sworn I heard something of teleporting"

[dodd4]

Bustopher licked his chops to get all of the delicious tangy sauce, who ever the cook was
they had an outstanding talent! when he found the Sesame Shrimp the grandly proportioned tuxedo tom was ecstatic and began to DINE in earnest!

Stuby vainly tried to reclaim his wallet, at least until he got caught up in the Gizmo
frenzy himself! having never seen a tablet or pocket computer before the flashing icons
caught his eye like a cat toy! "ooooh did ya see that?" he asked Munkus as he twiddeled with the buttons.

Stell snorted "it's probably the wind whistling throgh Bomba's ears! but go and look if it will make you feel better!" he said with a sigh.  then he got back to multiplying his profits in his head with a grin.

[Graymane]

Kid Munkus and Pancho Villas were so enthralled with the technology that Slim was producing that Munkus pretty much handed over a vault key, the same vault key Munkus had pilfered off of somebody else. Someone drunk.

I heard that
Shut up Redmane
Some writer you are, keeping me loaded like I'm some drunken cooler
Do you actually want me to give you Munkus' car key ring ?
You're kidding right ? Munkus wont let anybody drive his RV aside from Misto or Gridd!
The writer holds up a key ringAre you sure you do not want this ?
Redmane snantches the keyring and takes off for cover
I cannot believe she fell for it either folks the writer snickered, I didn't actually give her Munkus key ring, I actually gave her the key ring of the local jail house.... Anyhow where were we ? Oh yes. on the train

Munkus bought himself an iPineapple touch screen computer thingamajiggerwhatitscalled He was quite happy with what he ended up with.

++++
"Nah" Atert said, "I got a date I need to meet up on." With that, she turned from the room and headed off to where Manny was keeping the big lug busy with an awesome tantalizing array of Seasame chicken, orange chicken, Beijing Beef, heck it was Panda Express in there. Atert found a table and sat down, admiring for a long moment how well Manny worked as a waiter.